Most of us throughout the years have experienced an abusive relationship at some point in time.
The fighting. The pain. The yellingg. The threats. The name calling. The lies. The smear campaigns. The crazy making. The loneliness. The isolation. The guiltripping. The gaslighting. The ghosting. The manipulations. The emotional abuse. The verbal abuse. The trauma.
You called it love at one time, but the person you were in a relationship with made you believe you’re being delusional.
They convinced you into thinking you were the problem and that it was your fault they reacted the way they did.
They’d end the relationship, ghost you for days or a week at a time, kick you out, create a smear campaign with your name. Then apologize. Say they’d never do it again. Tell you everything you wanted to hear. You’d over communicate the issues. You were completely vulnerable and honest with your feelings. You’d beg for them for respect and to love you.
You would sit around and text them over and over. Pour your heart out. Call them multiple times on end, but they never would respond. Sometimes for hours, days or even over a week at a time.
You cried countless nights while trying to fall asleep, but there’s nothing else you could do to change what happened.
You were emotionally damaged and they could have cared less.
Throughout these repetitive cycles, you slowly lose yourself while grieving the loss of someone you thought loved and cared for you.
I know how it felt because I’ve been there as well and more than once.
What you need to realize is that this pain you're experiencing in not permanent.
You never did anything wrong for wanting to be treated right.
The fact of the matter is, they were not meant for you.
Don’t blame yourself for loving deeper than the pain they unfortunately gave you.
Take my advice and remember... if you're giving your all to someone and it's not enough, you're giving it to the wrong person. It took me over 3 years of enduring this unhealthy cycle of abuse to realize what deep down I knew all along.
You have a beautiful soul and you're worth more than you could ever imagine and that will never change even after everything you’ve been through.
Take it one day at a time. Keep a journal. Look for joy in everyday despite how silly or small that might be.
Take care of yourself. Eat healthy. Rest. In the beginning it maybe hour by hour but you'll notice it turns into day to day then week to week and one day you'll wake up and the pain you felt will be a distant memory.
You may feel alone but you're not and I know you can do this. You deserve love and respect.
xoxo,
fly girl
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