Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month: Why It Matters and How We Can Make a Difference

February is usually seen as the month of love, thanks to Valentine’s Day and all the heart-shaped cards and chocolates, but February is also something a lot more important—Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM). While we’re all caught up in the celebrations of love, this month serves as a powerful reminder that not all relationships are healthy, and for many teens, dating can be an experience that brings pain rather than happiness. It’s a time for all of us—teens, parents, educators, and communities—to talk about dating violence, raise awareness, and take action.

Let’s take a moment to really think about what it means to be in a safe, healthy relationship and how we can help others who might be experiencing dating violence.

What is Teen Dating Violence?

Before we dive deeper, it’s important to understand what we’re talking about when we say “teen dating violence.” Teen dating violence (TDV) is exactly what it sounds like: abusive behavior in a romantic relationship between two people who are dating. It can take many forms, from physical violence to emotional manipulation, and often includes controlling behavior and threats.

Here’s what it can look like:

• Physical Abuse: This can be anything from slapping, hitting, or pushing to more subtle forms of physical harm like choking or pinning someone down. Just because someone doesn’t leave visible marks doesn’t mean it’s not abuse.

• Emotional Abuse: This one is sneaky, and it’s harder to see. It might look like constant criticism, insults, or trying to make someone feel worthless. It could also involve gaslighting, where someone manipulates the other person into questioning their own feelings or perception of reality.

• Sexual Abuse: Pressuring or forcing someone into sexual acts, making them feel like they owe their partner sex, or sending explicit messages or images without consent. It’s about taking control over another person’s body, and that’s never okay.

• Digital Abuse: In the age of social media, digital abuse has become a major issue. This can include things like constantly checking a partner’s phone, tracking their location, or sending hurtful messages online. Sometimes it’s also about threatening to share intimate photos or embarrassing content to control or shame someone.

Why Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month Matters

TDVAM is crucial for a number of reasons. First, we know that abuse in relationships doesn’t just happen overnight. It often starts small—maybe with a comment that seems harmless at first, or some jealousy that’s brushed off. But over time, these actions build up and can become much more damaging. Teen dating violence isn’t something that only affects a few individuals—it’s far more common than we realize. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in 3 teens will experience some form of dating abuse, whether physical, emotional, or sexual. That’s a huge number, and it’s heartbreaking to think that so many young people are going through this.

So, why do we need TDVAM? Because awareness is the first step toward making a real change. By talking about it, we can help teens (and even adults) recognize the warning signs, understand that abuse is never okay, and take steps toward preventing it. When people are informed, they can start to make healthier choices, protect themselves, and support their friends who might be struggling. That’s why TDVAM isn’t just about raising awareness—it’s about creating a space for conversations that are long overdue.

Recognizing the Warning Signs

A lot of the time, teens (and sometimes even their friends or family) don’t realize when a relationship is turning unhealthy. Sometimes, those warning signs are easy to miss, especially when you’re caught up in the excitement of a new relationship or if your partner knows how to manipulate the situation. But being able to spot the red flags is key to protecting yourself and others.

Here are some signs that something may be off in a relationship:

• Extreme jealousy or possessiveness: If a partner is constantly questioning where you are, who you’re with, or isolating you from your friends or family, that’s a red flag.

• Controlling behavior: When someone tries to dictate what you wear, where you go, who you talk to, or what you do with your free time, it’s a sign of unhealthy control.

• Put-downs or insults: When a partner consistently puts you down, calls you names, or belittles you, it’s a form of emotional abuse. You should feel supported and respected, not inferior.

• Intimidation or threats: This could include threatening violence, threatening to expose your personal secrets, or manipulating you into fear. Nobody should feel afraid in a relationship.

• Physical harm: If your partner hurts you physically, even in small ways, it’s never okay. Bruises, scratches, or anything that causes you pain should never be dismissed.

• Pressuring you sexually: Consent is everything in a healthy relationship. If your partner pressures, coerces, or forces you into any kind of sexual act, it’s not love—it’s abuse.

Why It’s So Important to Talk About It

Talking about teen dating violence can be awkward, but it’s so necessary. Many young people don’t realize that what they’re going through isn’t “normal” or healthy, and they might not feel comfortable asking for help. Some may be scared or embarrassed to open up, especially if they feel like they’ll be judged. But talking about abuse isn’t about shaming anyone—it’s about offering support and creating a culture of care. When we normalize these conversations, we give teens the tools to understand that they deserve better.

Schools, parents, and even peers can all play a big role in preventing and addressing dating violence:

• Schools: Teachers, counselors, and staff should make sure there are resources available for students to learn about healthy relationships. Workshops, presentations, and counseling services can give students the opportunity to learn about the warning signs of abuse, how to support friends in unhealthy relationships, and where to turn if they need help.

• Parents: If you’re a parent, having open, non-judgmental conversations with your teen about relationships is critical. It’s about fostering trust so your child feels safe talking to you if they’re in a bad situation. You don’t have to have all the answers, but just being there and showing you care can make a huge difference.

• Peers: Sometimes the most important people to talk to are your friends. If you’re worried about someone’s relationship, don’t stay silent. Ask if they’re okay and offer support. Sometimes a friendly ear is exactly what someone needs to realize they don’t have to go through this alone.

What to Do If You or Someone You Know Is Involved in an Abusive Relationship

If you’re reading this and you or someone you care about is experiencing dating violence, it’s important to know that you’re not alone—and there is help available. It can be hard to leave an abusive relationship, especially if there are feelings of love, fear, or guilt involved. But no one deserves to feel unsafe or controlled in a relationship.

Here are some steps to take:

• Talk to someone you trust: Whether it’s a friend, family member, teacher, or counselor, find someone who can listen and help guide you through the next steps.

• Reach out for professional help: Hotlines, support groups, and counseling services are available to help you work through the situation and create a safety plan. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) is a great resource.

• Create a safety plan: If you feel unsafe, having a plan in place can help you leave an abusive situation when you’re ready. This could involve having a safe place to go, trusted people to call, and a way to access support.

• Know that leaving can be complicated: Abuse isn’t always physical—it can involve emotional manipulation, threats, and isolation. Leaving an abusive relationship can be a process, and it may take time. Be patient with yourself or the person you’re helping.

Moving Forward: Making Change Happen

TDVAM is all about starting important conversations, but we can’t let this awareness fade away after February ends. Ending teen dating violence is a year-round effort. It starts with education, but it also takes support, compassion, and advocacy. We all have a role to play in making sure that every teen has the chance to experience love and relationships in a healthy, supportive, and safe way.

So, this month, let’s raise our voices—whether it’s talking to our friends, supporting survivors, or making sure teens have the resources they need to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Let’s turn February into a month of not just awareness, but real action to stop dating violence for good.

Together, we can make a difference.

xoxo,

fly girl